Lockdown Highs

I think that there are a few benefits to staying at home at much as possible and one of them is, without doubt, the wonderful feeling of getting up every day feeling well. I haven’t had a cold since last December and it’s great. Last year, well most years actually, I’ve managed to pick up one cold or another, or one tummy bug or two over the course of a usual year. It wasn’t unusual to catch a summer cold. But not this year. This year (and then I touch wood as I want it to continue), I’ve not had one sore throat and the only upset stomach has come from eating too many chillies. And mostly this lack of infection has happened because of the little interaction I have had with others over the year (who knew!). But I believe it’s also down to something else – while I’ve experienced stressful times (not always down to COVID), I’ve been able to manage it so much better. And this is what you don’t always hear on the news when wellbeing is brought up – interacting with people on a face to face basis constantly caused me much more stress, life before COVID was altogether vexing for a complete introvert like me. Trying to fit into a world of noise and expectations was extremely bad for my mental wellbeing and one in which I found it not only difficult to enjoy but it was hard to relax in.

By contrast COVID has meant we’ve all had to slow down and communicate with each other in new ways, ways I find much easier to partake in. From March I’ve not had to fit in or say yes to any social engagements without the guilt of saying no which would usually be difficult. I’ve not had to travel to pointless meetings or go shopping or book holidays just because that’s what everyone else normally does and is expected for me to do as well.

When the vaccination programmes begin I shall be happy to see the pandemic losing in its relentless battle to take innocent lives. But I’ll also be sad to know that it’ll be time for me to start back on the usual, more extroverted treadmill of life that most people cannot wait to get back to. And a part of me is worrying about that because it’s going to happen pretty soon and I’m not sure if I’ll cope with it after so many months of being able to be me.

During the first lockdown I had lofty ideas that life might change for the better once we came out of it in May. That people would have had time to reflect on their lifestyles and wanted to perhaps live in different ways. Read more books, spend less time on social media collecting likes, walk more, drive less, grow food, enjoy meaningful get-togethers. And while there is a strong element of that emerging (people do want to spend more time outside in nature), it’s still at the expense of other things or worse, people. Amazon still has a monopoly on people’s buying behaviours, people rushed abroad just to have to rush back again all because it was important to seek some sunshine. They rushed to get back in the pubs, the shops, the gyms and their offices. students were forced to pay for courses and get on campus regardless of whether it was a good idea or not. Children had to go back to school – no arguments whether they liked it or not. Not many would put anything on hold and instead of changing course it was more like full steam ahead. The economy came first followed by “normality”. Normal being very capitalist – I earn it then I should spend it and spend it exactly how I like.

And so, now we’re in another lockdown. There is massive pressure to get rates of infection down so we call all spend Christmas together. Essentially what this means is, spend loads of money and gather in groups again. And if we don’t agree with that then there is an increasing voice in the media and on the news that says people will end up lonely and mental health issues will go through the roof.

During this lockdown (which feels anything but a lockdown), I don’t think people will be reflecting on anything other than which shop they need to get to as soon as the non-essential shops open again.

As you might have guessed I didn’t go out much between one lockdown and the next, except for the multiple times I headed out the door to explore my local countryside. I did have two meals out, one of which was lovely because I got to engage with the owners. The other left me exasperated by all the stipulations needed just to sit down and get a drink.

Instead, I have enjoyed the slower pace of living. Feeling grateful for all I have, the position I have cultivated by myself, the skills I have and the work I’m involved in. This year has been one of opportunity for me. One where I could be involved in different work streams, build relationships with strangers I’ve never met, and family I couldn’t be close too. I supported more local businesses where I could and I had more time to spend doing things that bring me happiness – gardening, reading walking and trying to get fitter.

I want COVID to be overcome. I want people to live without fear of a disease you cannot see. On a personal note I don’t want any of my family or friends who are classed as vulnerable live such shielded lives. But a part of me is also trying to gear up for a new year and one I suspect will be at a pace unlike any other. I just hope some of us take with us the good things we’ve learnt from living slower lives and ones in which we’ve been able to embrace more local living.