A Few Questions Have Been Raised – Part 5

It’s possible some of these answers won’t be all that…serious.  But hey.  Isn’t that what questions are for?  For me to flex my writing muscles?

Apart from obvious ones like holly and eucalyptus, what leaves can’t be used as mulch?

I’m not sure they are the obvious ones.  All trees, deciduous or not tend to drop their leaves (or needles) constantly.  This makes a wonderful carpet otherwise know as mulch. It is used by the tree to retain water and break down much-needed nutrients into the soil for the tree to feed on.  How do you think tree’s manage to survive hundreds of years in just one place in the ground, alone, in a wood or in a park?  If it drops off the tree it should really stay with the tree, not be cleared away and plonked somewhere else – unless it’s your compost heap in which case it’s every gardener for themselves.

What can I do in winter to prevent weeds for the next season in my lawn?

You could perform a naked dance?  Might be a bit cold though.  Or, you could sit on your lawn and read poetry, which would confuse the hell out of it.

What are cheap ideas to make your garden look nice?

Here’s a good one – and exceptionally cheap.   Just leave your garden alone.  It’ll turn into the most beautiful wild area that will explode with colourful flowers and create a habitat for wildlife beyond anything you’d ever imagine.

Is spinach bad for you?

Is it bad for you?  It’s the worst!  It can be used in pretty much most meals (including salads), it gives you a free source of vitamins and nutrients that help keep your heart healthy and has enough fibre to make you regular on the toilet.  On top of that it has next to no calories which means you can eat a tonne of it without ever putting on weight.  Leave it alone at all costs.

Is it unhealthy to eat 200g of blueberries for breakfast?

I once ate 200g of blueberries, but it wasn’t for my breakfast.  Like a savage, I took them into work with the intention of snacking on them.  But I took just one handful and I was hooked.  I ate the whole container within about 10minutes.  My fellow colleagues gave me worried looks and asked if I was okay.  They were sure I was going to turn into Violet Beauregarde from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.   But as you can tell, I am still alive.  And exceedingly hooked on blueberries.  Now I eat 200g as a minimum every day either at breakfast lunch or dinner.  So far I have yet to turn a deep shade of blue.

What are some unusual ways to prepare broccoli?

You could take it out of the packet and eat it raw.  You could slice off every single flower from the head and create potpourri from it.  You could discard the flower head and just boil the stem in water for hours and make your house smell of cabbage.  You could deep-fry whole broccoli and eat it with some chips.  You could (and this is my favourite way), get a whole load of broccoli heads. Glue them stalk down on a piece of card and pretend you’ve got a little forest growing in your kitchen.

What are the basics of gardening?

1. Lose at least one pair of secateurs every year
2. Buy way more packets of seeds than you actually need
3. Forget where you put said seeds so have to buy more
4. Kill at least half your plants because you forget to water them
5. KIll the other half with too much kindness
6. Forget to sow said seeds at the right time of year so have to then go and buy seedlings/plug plants
7. Get confused by the enormity of plant nutrient choices at the garden centre and end up with buying tomato feed as a sure winner
8. Bore people senseless with your wide variety of plant knowledge that you have built up in the last 5 minutes
9. Buy a subscription to the RHS to prove your bonafide garden existence.
10. Grow runner beans every year even though you don’t really like them and nearly slice your finger off preparing them to go in the pan